I'm not quite sure if its the summer heat that's draining me or the 1 year non-stop work.
For almost 10 months now, I have been at work straight 5 days a week and 2 days off. I'm tired, very tired. Imagine, we got married on a wednesday and still went to work the following day. I spent my New Year and Christmas in the office. There is no such thing as labor day or independence days. If its not work, its 3 days of school in a week. I used to like it you know, spend some time that is not work related. But now, my final test is tomorrow, yet I am uninterested already. I know Ill have that last gusto of wanting to pass, to prove myself that I can pass, but I just want it over with.
Now, the heat is another story. Just the other day the car's temperature indicator is showing 51 degrees. Nowadays its atleast 38 and with the worst humidity. You can tolerate it in the morning. When you get out of the house, go to your car and go to your work. But when you leave the office at 230pm like me, when the sun is still almost at its peak, you want to collapse. Your face feels like its turning into a raisin. All the water is being sucked out. You ride your car and even your AC cannot accomodate the heat. The cold wind reaches about 5 inches out of the vent and you are still left with the heat and that feeling that you are in the microwave oven.
I want to ask for leave for at least a day or two, maybe I will be untired by then. I want to go on vacation and do nothing f0r a whole month. I want to stay at home just to sleep, eat, watch TV, go online in Facebook and probably sleep again. I do not know how to reenergize again, but I'm just tired. If anyone knows how to give me instant strength, please let me know. I know there are others like me out there... let me know.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The struggle of everyday
Foreword... Forward...
Everyday is a struggle to see the good in everything. Even if it is the smallest thing or something dismissable. I made this blog to remind me that no matter what happens in my life it is God that gave it me and there must be something good in it.
I will not excuse myself to be human and make mistakes. On the contrary I feel we should strive to better ourselves all the time, just to try and match what God has given us. It is not for perfection, nobody can be such except God. That is why my little thing of striving to see good in everything is like trying to see everything in the eyes of God.
Little Things...
I think a week back, our little Renault Clio, was hit from behind by a Ford Mondeo (well, I think this is the right model :D). We were in a roundabout, my husband could not go because the cars from the left got priority and drive pretty fast. So I guess the cab driver thought we had driven on, so PUFFF!!!! It was my first time to be in an accident. It was fairly small damage. But I'm thankful for our small but terrible car with its heavy duty bumper. Although now the bumper looks like it has its skin falling off. But at least we were still ok. The hit wasnt too hard that could have pushed us to another lane and be hit by another car.
Then yesterday, we were suppose to renew the insurance of my car. We were going to go with it to the insurance company when lo and behold, it wouldnt start. For the days I didnt drive it, I really don't know what I left on to drain the battery. So we still went with Mohamed's car. The poor Renault Clio needed to be repaired also because its radiator has a leak and yet we still brought it out. But guess what, when we were in the insurance company, the cue-number was finished and they weren't entertaining anyone anymore for the day. And that was at 7am. So I shrugged and went out. We went to the office and I still feel bad for the incident in the morning. But today, I was at the insurance company a bit before 6am, I was probably the 30th person then. But mind you they were all guys. Pakistani, Indian, Arabic... whoa! It's bad enough they stare at you like your the only woman they've seen in their life but I was really having 2nd doubts lining up with them. Fortunately, the security gave me a seat, a few meters away hehehe. Then when they were about to give the cue, I was 2nd :D Thank God that I'm a girl. That's my little good today. If Mohamed was the one to renew my insurance, it would be 10am and he's not yet done. They started at 7 and I was finished by 720. No questions asked, just show them the money hahaha.
Reflection: Contentment...
Last night, I was really down. I felt like I was too tired of everything happening in my life and was asking God for a break. I trusted his infinite wisdom to know when the right time was for me but of course I could not resist but ask, ask and ask. Then before going to sleep, I read this daily reflection book I had. Its message for the day was if I felt like I live a complicated life, from fears, anxiety, and other stuff that leads to stress. Actually God waits for me to ask from him to untangle my life. All he is doing is waiting for me to be humble enough to ask his help.
To calm myself further, I searched a passage in the bible about materialism and it brought me the word - CONTENTMENT. I was amazed how God finds a way to send his message to you. So I wrote back to Him. I said, I'm still thankful for all the things I have in life and it is more than what others have. And I am sorry for asking for even more, when I just needed to learn to accept what I have right now. Perhaps God needs to see that I am worthy of what I have right now before giving me greater things. And in the end, I still asked him what I felt I needed. But I put my trust in Him that when it is in His time, He will give it to me. But today, I must learn to be contented and be thankful for what I have.
Blessings to you, your family and everyone you love :D
Everyday is a struggle to see the good in everything. Even if it is the smallest thing or something dismissable. I made this blog to remind me that no matter what happens in my life it is God that gave it me and there must be something good in it.
I will not excuse myself to be human and make mistakes. On the contrary I feel we should strive to better ourselves all the time, just to try and match what God has given us. It is not for perfection, nobody can be such except God. That is why my little thing of striving to see good in everything is like trying to see everything in the eyes of God.
Little Things...
I think a week back, our little Renault Clio, was hit from behind by a Ford Mondeo (well, I think this is the right model :D). We were in a roundabout, my husband could not go because the cars from the left got priority and drive pretty fast. So I guess the cab driver thought we had driven on, so PUFFF!!!! It was my first time to be in an accident. It was fairly small damage. But I'm thankful for our small but terrible car with its heavy duty bumper. Although now the bumper looks like it has its skin falling off. But at least we were still ok. The hit wasnt too hard that could have pushed us to another lane and be hit by another car.
Then yesterday, we were suppose to renew the insurance of my car. We were going to go with it to the insurance company when lo and behold, it wouldnt start. For the days I didnt drive it, I really don't know what I left on to drain the battery. So we still went with Mohamed's car. The poor Renault Clio needed to be repaired also because its radiator has a leak and yet we still brought it out. But guess what, when we were in the insurance company, the cue-number was finished and they weren't entertaining anyone anymore for the day. And that was at 7am. So I shrugged and went out. We went to the office and I still feel bad for the incident in the morning. But today, I was at the insurance company a bit before 6am, I was probably the 30th person then. But mind you they were all guys. Pakistani, Indian, Arabic... whoa! It's bad enough they stare at you like your the only woman they've seen in their life but I was really having 2nd doubts lining up with them. Fortunately, the security gave me a seat, a few meters away hehehe. Then when they were about to give the cue, I was 2nd :D Thank God that I'm a girl. That's my little good today. If Mohamed was the one to renew my insurance, it would be 10am and he's not yet done. They started at 7 and I was finished by 720. No questions asked, just show them the money hahaha.
Reflection: Contentment...
Last night, I was really down. I felt like I was too tired of everything happening in my life and was asking God for a break. I trusted his infinite wisdom to know when the right time was for me but of course I could not resist but ask, ask and ask. Then before going to sleep, I read this daily reflection book I had. Its message for the day was if I felt like I live a complicated life, from fears, anxiety, and other stuff that leads to stress. Actually God waits for me to ask from him to untangle my life. All he is doing is waiting for me to be humble enough to ask his help.
To calm myself further, I searched a passage in the bible about materialism and it brought me the word - CONTENTMENT. I was amazed how God finds a way to send his message to you. So I wrote back to Him. I said, I'm still thankful for all the things I have in life and it is more than what others have. And I am sorry for asking for even more, when I just needed to learn to accept what I have right now. Perhaps God needs to see that I am worthy of what I have right now before giving me greater things. And in the end, I still asked him what I felt I needed. But I put my trust in Him that when it is in His time, He will give it to me. But today, I must learn to be contented and be thankful for what I have.
Blessings to you, your family and everyone you love :D
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